Tuesday, February 01, 2005
handle my heart with care, will you?
I don't believe in " I'll love you till forever." anymore. These are all lies. I don't wanna fall into another trap again. i fell into one. now, i couldn't get out. ): i feel so dead. It's the forth day already. i'm still waiting, i'm still shedding tears. i can't smile like before. i feel so terrible inside out of me. i've to be prepared for what i'm gonna hear from others everyday. I'm tired. I'm thinking of so much ways to get you back. Maybe, you no longer love me ( or maybe you didn't love me at all right from the start), but i still do. You don't wanna give our love a chance, you wanna give it an end. like i've said before, i always don't get what i want. i wanted our love to last.
You said, in ten years down the road, when you're we're gonna be in the best wedding suit in Fullerton Hotel, in the prettiest church at Paris. We'll be the happiest couple in town, in July, when we get married. Then we'll go over to Holland, migrate there. We'll have the first little boy and girl, Cadence and Jenyiah. Then we'll live happily ever after.
You told me, if one day, i couldn't find a guy that loves me, I could look for you, and you'll take care of me for life and you wouldn't leave till forever. I took your words for real, 'cos i know, this time i wouldn't be wrong. you're the one and only one I will love so much this lifetime. All my life, I'm looking for someone like you. When i've finally found you, I could hardly let you go. You said you won't hurt me, you'll love me forever and never let me go. Little did i thought, ending was just two months later kinda thing.
You said, maybe our thinking is different. You're tired, you're stressed up. So am I. I'm holding on, trying my best to compromise. As for you, you're tired of trying, sick of compromising. I tried so hard not to runaway from reality. But words I heard from you and others, tore my heart into two. I thought you would be there to mend them back, but you left.
I told you, I didn't want you to leave, I hope you could stay. You didn't wanted to be forced, so I have to let you go. And off you went. Now you're flying up high like the little bird, so free. ): Here i am, waiting for you to pick me up again and let me fly to a faraway place with you. This time, I wouldn't let you leave so easily.
Now, I prayed every night for the happiness you wanted. I would go down on my knees before i go to bed, pray for everyone's WANTED happiness, ESPECIALLY FOR YOU.
the story seemed so DRAMATIC. Mind you, It's not okay. It's sweet and nice with bitter endings. Every love story has it's sourness, sweetness and ofcos, bitterness. It all depends on the two that is in love. (: It's so nice to be loved. I miss that feeling, and it must be from her. ): I miss the love from her.
"Dear Lord, let her know she's loved and give her all the happiness she wanted. Take her worries and troubles away. Bring them all to me. Give my happiness to her. I'll give up my happiness for her. Lord, bless her with pure bliss every single day. Don't let her get hurt. Bring all her pain to me, take all my joy to her. Let her know she's blessed by You. Be with her when she needs you around, Lord. Let her know, she's never alone. Let her know, You're here with her, and You'll never leave her. Lord, let her stay happy. Any unhappiness she have, bring it all to me. Take away all my happiness to her. And to the rest, who are suffering, not leading a happy life, take their pain away, Lord. I want them to be happy too. Give them happiness, bless them with happiness always. I pray this through Christ, Our Lord. Amen."
Alrighty, a Big Thank You to all those who were there for me when things ain't right, when things didn't go my way! hah, you guys are real sweet lah. :D love you all. God bless.
i'll make every sacrifices, just to bring back your love.
; stick with you
